Guest Stars Nick Swardson as Terry Bernadino Jack Plotnick as Steve Marmella Paul Rudd as Ethan the Drug Lord Toby Huss as Glen the Desk Clerk Patton Oswalt as Jeff Spoder Ken Marino as Deaf Tattoo Artist Oscar Nuñez as Jose Jose Jose David Koechner as Sheriff of Aspen Michael Ian Black as Ron of Ron's Tattoo Danny DeVito as District Attorney Joe Lo Truglio as Tattoo Shop Owner #2 Mindy Sterling as Spoder's Mom Paul Reubens as Sir Terrence Irina Voronina as Russian Model Steve Little as Drug Lord's Second Hostage Alejandra Gutierrez as Miss Acapulco Chris Tallman as Alligator Expert David Wain as Breen the Plumber Ian Roberts as Captain Rogers, DHS Brian T. Finney as Decontamination Guy Marisa Petroro as Drug Lord's Girlfriend Brandon Molale as Kevlar Guy Kathryn Fiore as Cheyenne the Helicopter Model Kevin Allison as Tattoo Victim Michael Hoback as Barry Baum Michael H. Clark as Bus Driver Tamara Fox Meyerson as Tammy Todd Holoubek as Tattooed Guy Kathryn Smith as Jello Wrestler Shanti Hall as Hot Paramedic Matthew Budds as Clapping Cop Lennie Loftin as Chief of Police Dave Holmes as Persnickety Desk Worker Cathy Shim as Spring Break Dream Girl Kyle Dunnigan as Drug Lord's First Hostage Floyd Van Buskirk as Proctologist Eric Price as Wrestling Referee Michael Patrick Jann as Tattoo Shop Owner #1 Michael Showalter as Paul Uncredited Dwayne Johnson as Rick Smith, SWAT